A CANVEY ISLAND INDEPENDENT PARTY Councillor, in a hot air balloon, realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.’
The woman below replied, ‘You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're in Canvey Island’s Central Ward, near its boundary with the North Ward, and approximately in the middle of Canvey Lake.’
‘You must be an informed voter,’ said the balloonist.
‘I am,’ replied the woman, ‘How did you know?’
‘Well,’ answered the balloonist, ‘everything you told me seems relevant; but I've no idea what to make of it - and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip.’
The woman below responded, ‘You must be in the CIIP.’
‘I am,’ replied the balloonist, ‘but how did you know?’
‘Well,’ said the woman, ‘you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.
‘The fact is: you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met; but now, somehow, you make out it's all my bloody fault!’
This week, Canvey Island Independent Party councillors washed their hands of the Borough’s financial problems and walked out of the meeting called to examine what measures could be taken to soften the cuts.
Apart from Ray Howard (Con), representing Canvey Island West, the island was left without representation in the Castle Point council chamber.
The problem, the CIIP believe, is easily remedied by the Borough’s majority. Cut back on officer salaries and posts (so Councillor allowances can be preserved) – and dip into the Borough’s few reserves to tide it over the next two years. (Just as the CIIP led Town Council regularly sheds its own key officer staff - and dips into its own reserves and Veteran Charity funds to balance its unsustainable accounts).
If times are hard, just throw a party and ask all the ‘Tory toffs’ to cough-up for a good cause. What’s the problem?..
This week, Canvey Island residents have begun to realise just how incompetent their CIIP councillors are – and just how little regard those same representatives have of the Canvey people.
The Canvey Island Independent Party, residents discovered this week, is just a shambolic fraud; built upon hot air, unrealistic promises, incompetent financial management, the avoidance of responsibility – and downright lies. It has led residents in a merry dance; but, when Essex County Fire and Rescue Service decided to remove full-time fire cover from Canvey – and islanders needed them most – CIIP councillors were again found wanting. Did councillors hit the phones? Did they get into their tax-payer allowance funded cars and drive to Chelmsford to open discussions? Did they even contact our MP to ask what they could do?
No. They did not do any of those things. And they never made the phone call to our MP because they knew what old Bob would have done in these circumstances. They did not need to ask. They knew what to do. And they did it.
They organised a petition!
Meanwhile, Rebecca Harris, our new MP, dictated a short Press statement, lifted her own phone – and coolly summoned the County’s Chief Fire Officer to Westminster.
Such actions are not in the CIIP’s repertoire. The fact that they have achieved the greatest number of votes from residents and are imbued with the power to speak on their behalves is incidental. Unless there are column inches to be had, and a photo opportunity in which to display their solidarity in opposition, the CIIP is not interested.
Voters may have elected them in the hope they would represent their wishes; but since the CIIP does not understand what those wishes are – and is in any case incapable of putting together a coherent argument – islanders must always sign a petition in an effort to get things done themselves.
What a waste of space these people are!
But Canvey Lake lies waiting…
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