Tuesday 13 July 2010

Protests Follow Necker Sacking

NEWS just reaching us from the regions suggests that the sacking of Jaques Necker on 11th July has led to widespread unrest amongst citizens.

There are reports that the decision has given rise to riots, chaos, and widespread looting in towns and cities throughout the country and that the army has chosen not to intervene.

Some reports even suggest that the army has been complicit in assisting the protesters, with many government officials forced to seek sanctuary in the face of violent threats.

Governor Marquis Bernard de Launay has urged all citizens to remain calm.

’There is no need to lose one’s head in this type of situation,’ he told our reporter. ‘We have sufficient troops standing by to dissuade the revolting peasants from causing any disruption here.’

Citizens will hope he is right; but rumours continue to circulate that clandestine plans are being made in a number of local schools to disrupt the island tomorrow.

Sources close to the protesters suggest that Norman Bambridge has been helping to co-ordinate the actions of several different factions throughout Canvey tomorrow.

Known locally as the MFL Cluster, its members include prominent Canvey citizens, with close foreign contacts, whose names can now be revealed.

The conspirators are said to consist of: Liza Abbott of Northwick Park Primary; Catherine Morales of St. Joseph’s Catholic Primary; Pascall Bardiaux-Stansby of Castle View; Debbie Ekers of Cornelius Vermuyden; Gemma Doo of St. Katherine’s Church of England Primary; Lianne Massaring of Canvey Junior School; Teresa Sasaidek of William Read Primary; and Heather Manning of Winter Gardens Primary.

Among local businesses, it appears that only the island’s Sainsbury’s are taking tomorrow’s threat from these individuals seriously. Its management propose to pacify local citizens with cheese and wine to prevent further bloodshed.

... (17/07/2010) - Louis XVI Capitulates And Necker Is Reinstated

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